I took a lower-paying job that I was more competent to do.

Due to lower stress levels, somehow I spend less money and my finances are way better. For the record we’re talking about making $110k then vs making $45k now.

My finances are in better shape. I have cognitive surplus at the end of the day, and I think maybe that’s translating to less escape-seeking.

Also, this year I made a new year’s resolution: I am going to have $5k in the bank, come hell or high water. I’ve lived my whole life without a buffer and life without a buffer sucks so hard.

Just having that goal — $5k in the bank — has changed my whole relationship to money. I haven’t even hit the $5k. I’m at $3k and even that feels amazing. It doesn’t matter if my paycheck is late. I can just pay my rent. Moving into a new apartment and the agent was like “are you prepared to pay a deposit and first month today?” and I was like “yup”.

In the past I’d always answer like “Well my next paycheck is on such and such date and can I maybe pay you half then, then the other half two weeks after that?” I was always relying on the flexibility and mercy of financial gatekeepers.

I’m amazed how such a small amount of money (compared to the total flow) being held onto has changed my perception of myself. I feel like a “legit” person now. I feel like a stakeholder in society. I feel like an adult, instead of a boy in a man’s body. I don’t even know when my paydays are any more.

And my income didn’t really increase between the time I had no buffer and the time I did. I just made the resolution, and then started putting money away.