981
I need this (startrek.website)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/tumblr@lemmy.world
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[–] 37 points 2 years ago (25 children)

Yeah -- I am not a good person.

My first thought was "use a sniper rifle to shoot the cat. Then take the key off its cold, dead corpse"

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  • [–] 15 points 2 years ago (7 children)

    I'd imagine part of the deal is "don't harm my cat".

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago (6 children)

    (grin) If the story doesn't mention it then I assume it's not a part of the deal.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

    At best you're going to be stuck with someone that's pissed you killed her cat. Even if she sticks to the deal she's going to make your life miserable. And if she is the cat ...

    If you can't charm her: tranquilizer dart gun. Then a romantic getaway at your hidden base that's also an active volcano. Apologize for your crude methods, but justify them. Point out how horrible those other men were, in fact how horrible humanity is as a whole. "We're not so different, you and I", etc.

    Wine and dine her while you explain your plan for world domination. You want the hot shapeshifter on your side -- don't screw it up.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I mean, if she is the cat, and you kill the cat and take the key in order to marry the woman, then you will be marrying the corpse of the woman you just killed. Seems like it might be a bit of a plot point that you don't kill the woman (or do, but that's a very different film.)

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago (8 children)

    Which maybe says a lot about you because the point of the story is something that a lot of people have known for centuries: Men who know how to treat a cat and earn its affection, are more likely to have success with women, if they apply the same delicate empathetic approach.

    So, how are you doing in the woman-romance area?

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    I've been with the same woman for twenty five years and we are very happy together.

    Thank you for asking.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    If it's evil, but it works... well ig it's still evil ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

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