Oh hahaha nooooo, it would be 15 seconds, and it would start with a sigh and deep, troubled breathing noises, a finger tapping the mic and someone saying "is this thing on" before the entirely useless comment even starts.

Obviously they should be using syntactically correct JavaDoc format here so the voice messages can be converted to HTML

Don't kid yourself, it would be 15 seconds of swearing followed by 2 seconds of useless misleading info.