if goto make sense why don't you go to get some bitches

I started coding with TurboBasic, which included the helpful innovation of GOTO {label} instead of GOTO {line number}, which allowed you to have marginally-better-looking code like:

GOTO bob
...
bob:
{do some useless shit}
return

which meant you essentially had actual, normal methods and you didn't have to put line numbers in front of everything. The problem was that labels (like variables) could be as long as you wanted them to be, but the compiler only looked at the first two letters. Great fun debugging that sort of nonsense.