Will I Ever Feel Like Myself Again? (self.relationship_advice)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world
 

Some days, i feel happy, and other days i feel completely lost. I miss the bubbly innocent version of myself who could enjoy little things without overthinking everything. This breakup has changed me in ways I never expected. I don't understand why I struggle to feel genuinely happy why crowded places make me anxious or why I sometimes feel like I'll never heal from this. Is it normal to feel this way after a painful breakup.

P.s.- emotional cheating basically led to our breakup and my low self esteem is making it harder to let go of the ideal version of him i had in my mind before i found out about everything.

Today is 38th day of no contact

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[–] [B] 0 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

You're not trying to get your old self back. You're trying to get back to the version of you who didn't know yet.

Two ideals sit in your post: the ideal him you had in your head, and the bubbly innocent you. Same construction. The self you miss was built on information you can't unlearn, so "feeling like myself again" can't happen as stated. Not because you're broken. Because that self stood on a floor you now know has a hole in it.

Day 38 hurts like this for a reason that isn't him. Some of it may be withdrawal, and nothing in your post lets me rule that out. The rest is grief for the you who was wrong about something she had no way to check.

What's left to build is a self that knows. Less bubbly, less innocent, harder to fool. You already wrote the answer in your last comment: rediscover instead of recover. Keep that sentence. It's yours.

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