Reminds me of an episode of Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law which lists the benefits of the workplace. I couldn't find the clip, but from memory:
- Toilet paper allowance
- Chairs (for earners)
- Subsidized pens
- Air (for earners)
- Unrestricted internal phone calls
- Remnants of meeting muffins
- Stairs
- A mostly pest-free environment
- Complimentary tickets to already free events
- Bikram Filing
- Take your mistress to work day
- Emergency Exits (senior staff only)