Don't worry. I'll only reply with funny-bad quotes, not horrifying-bad ones. I was involved enough in the fandom to have experienced plenty of both.

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[–] [S] 8 points 4 days ago (10 children)

"My sister and I went into deep discussion over the matter. We consulted with every sage we knew of every race; dragons, griffins, the buffalo, the zebra-- we even used the Window of Dimension to peer into other realms and speak with creatures of other times and planes of existence. Von Mises, Hayek, Bastiat, Sowell..."

She didn't mention consulting with Keynes, Marx or Galbraith, for the same reason you would not mention the time you had passed through a small town in a foreign land and patiently listened to the ramblings of the village idiot... Marx was an eighteenth century crackpot who thought a cherry pie and a mud pie should cost the same because they both took an hour to make. And Keynes thought that having the government take your wallet and max out all your credit cards would improve your finances, because spending lots of money was proof you had a robust economy... This sort of thinking requires a lifetime of higher education; No mere mortal could be that idiotic.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 days ago (5 children)

    Now I just picture a Marx pony with a beard and a hammer and sickle getting drunk on apple cider.

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  • [–] [S] 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

    "In the college dating scene, you have the top 70% of attractive females chasing the top 30% of alpha bad boys. You’ve been lied to all your life that girls want a nice, sweet guy and this depresses you since you’ve only recently worked that out. This is why you’re playing Equestria Online on a Friday night instead of dating."

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  • [–] 4 points 4 days ago* (3 children)

    Libertarian + Incel, two great tastes that taste great together

    "The state shouldnt exist but also it should assign me a girlfriend."

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 4 days ago (2 children)

    Now she fully understood why Celestia was so determined to help the poor humans, and why Equestria had bothered to invade the earth.

    Humans were intelligent, fully self-aware, fully conscious, fully sapient beings. But they had been so unfortunate as to arise in a universe without any magic to speak of. Souls were only and purely magic. If anything at all in all of existence was a magical thing, a spirit, a soul, absolutely, completely was. These poor, naked apes were self aware, they understood their mortality, but they were little more than chemical machines. For this species, in this universe, dead... was dead. When the machine stopped, they stopped, and that was the end of them. Each precious one of them was an entire cosmos of dreams and thoughts and hopes and fears just by themselves, yet all were nothing more than chemicals and electricity banging around a primate skull.

    Conversion turned that chemical robot into an Equestrian - that was the real reason behind powering the nanomachines of the ponification serum with the miracle of Equestrian magic. It wasn't merely to avoid conservation of mass issues, or to sidestep entropy, or to avoid generating heat. No. Ponification serum was what it was so as to infuse and transform those chemical, molecular-machine human minds with a truly living lacework of real magic, so that they, as ponies, could join the eternal herd. The true purpose of Conversion was to grace the poor ape robots with nothing less than souls.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 days ago (1 child)

    This is like turning a page of the necronomicon

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 4 days ago

    Trelawney finally had enough. She marched to the front doors, her parading minions in her wake, and barged in, the bell on the door jangling as they poured into the dining area. “YOU!” she said, pointing at the guy running the grill with an outstretched finger. She stood tall and defiant as Galadriel at the mirror pool. “Defiler! You desecrate the sacred acolyte's ascension with your ROASTED FLESH OF MURDER!”

    The teenager wielding the spatula blinked. “Uh, no, it's cow, I'm pretty sure,” he said.

    Trelawney gave him a half-shriek of disgust. She turned to Taylor and all but flung herself on her knees. “Please do not do this, anointed one,” she half-whimpered. “Don't pollute your ascended body with the flesh of innocent animals!”

    Taylor gave her a contemptuous look. “Madame Trelawney, what did you tell me your spirit animal was again?”

    “The great horned owl, herald of wisdom, and the white fox, who--”

    “And what do you think owls and foxes live on-- celery sticks?” Taylor snorted. “Go away, Madame Trelawney,” she sing-songed, “your spirit animals are laughing at you.”

    The Tambourine Heads who had followed her in gasped in scandalized shock. Trelawney shot to her feet in a towering rage and opened her mouth to go into one of her famous squalling, honking tirades

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  • [–] 3 points 4 days ago (3 children)

    aren’t pony canonically luddites? much to think about

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 4 days ago (2 children)

    He remembered the simultaneous suicide bombers; one November day years ago, dozens of suicide bombers walked into Equestria Experience centers and detonated themselves. In every case, there had been no casualties or structural damage. Some of the former suicide bombers started worshiping Celestia and immediately emigrated to Equestria. Over the next week, the Afghan population dropped by one million.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 days ago (1 child)

    i doubt it was explosive with horse carrying capacity, maybe spoiled milk though. but equestrian big milk won’t tell you what happens to those cows anyways

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