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So, what do you all like, do to become friends with other trans women? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 day ago by to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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So, I feel like I'm kind of at a huge disadvantage right now when it comes to being a healthy adult, because my experience with transness and neurodivergence has made it essentially impossible to form normal friendships my entire life.

This isn't to vent or anything, that really is just the reality of the situation, and I'm at terms with that. I don't really know what to do about it though, and I feel like I can't be healthy until I find other trans women who I know just gets it. Thing is, I really don't live somewhere with a ton of trans women around, and I don't know if it is appropriate to just expect ones I meet to be friends with me.

I can't imagine I'm that alone in this dilema -- not that I'm glad about that -- and so ** I'm wondering if anyone has developed any tips that would be of benefit to any of us?**

for those who'd like to know what I've tried so far:

Not that I don't try, but so much of my energy is just spent on being out of the house. So far, I'm finding intentional self-grace to be a genuine benefit if I get used to the vulnerability of it (I'm sure you all know this is no small feat). I haven't really gotten so far as making friends this way, but I have gotten farther than probably any other point of my life.

Oh, I also wonder if this will resonate with anyone: is it weird that I am concerned about whether people are attracted to me just because I'm not used to even believing that is a potential thing to be conscious of in an interaction? I feel kind of gross asking myself that, but I seriously don't know if it would even be *irresponsible* to not be considerate of that kind of power dynamic.

I want to point out too, I am glad to worry about these things. These are problems that I am more than happy to deal with if it means being genuinely me,

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[–] 5 points 1 day ago

Well, I started off by joining a Discord server with trans women in my area, and just connected digitally for awhile. Then I planned a little meetup with 5 other girls in the server when I went up to visit Seattle. This was a great way to just get to meet and talk to other trans women. I was invited to a private Signal group chat afterwards full of trans women (mostly in Seattle). I was informed of a weekly event where 2 bars in the area host a dolls night, where they're both full of trans women. Eventually I managed to convince myself to go to one, and I met my current girlfriend at that very first time I went. We've gone together many times since, and I've met all sorts of trans women (and had lots of fun with them)! I also attend a trans event that happens every other week at a different bar that's a lot more chill (and a little less horny), and I meet a whole bunch of people there, too! I now have lots of trans friends, and am frequently out among my people. In fact, I spend roughly half my time in Seattle (with my girlfriend) nowadays despite living 40 miles away. Just existing in a city with lots of other trans folks is such an amazing feeling.

Granted, events like this will be location specific. But the best thing I can recommend is to find a recurring trans event, and start going to them regularly. It's worth a long drive if you can't find one super close.

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