If you make that face, it'll stay like that.

I was told this as well, so I'd try to look as sad, afraid and angry as possible. I'd contort my face for hours, trying to push the corners of my mouth down till it hurt. I wanted it to stay like that, so when I went to school the next day somebody would ask me what's wrong and I could tell them about my father beating the shit out of me every day. Unfortunately, it did not stay and nobody asked.

If you lie, you get spots on your tongue

Oh lmao the spots on your tongue thing is ancient. Transient lingual papillitis, also called "lie bumps". Ton of cultures share the myth that you get them from lying - we don't know what causes them (and fuck do they hurt) and they're rarely talked about, so it's always weird to run into that in the wild; it seems so absurd you'd never expect it to be as widespread as it is.

You have strange parents. Square eyes? Spots on your tongue? Bizarre.