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This is a safe space post your least funny jokes and everyone will laugh I promise (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by to c/badposting@hexbear.net
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I swear bro just trust me watch I'll go first

My wife calls me DADDY in the bedroom because she's programmed by a pornography addiction to think that's what men want and we haven't gotten to that in therapy yet because we have bigger and more pressing issues and I'm patiently working through the process.

See? It was an anti joke. You thought there was going to be a punchline but it was actually a sad commentary on social issues with a silver lining that we're communicating through our issues with healthy methods and trained professionals! And then, get this, I overexplained the joke, which is legendarily not a funny thing to do, but I reiterate, this is a SAFE SPACE where everyone is going to LAUGH, and we're all cool here and wouldn't make a liar out of me in front of all my friends, right? kitty-cri

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[–] 4 points 1 day ago

A man goes to a talent show, and tells the judges that his dog can talk. Of course they don't believe him, but they ask him to demonstrate.

The man asks his dog "what goes on top of a house?" The dog says "ROOF!"

The man asks his dog "What is the opposite of smooth?" The dog says "ROUGH!"

The man asks his dog "Who is the greatest baseball player ever!" The dog says "RUTH!"

Well the judges are thoroughly unimpressed and kick him out of the talent show. As they're walking home the dog looks up and says "what, I should have said DiMaggio?"

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