So you should starve? Brother, regardless of whether or not you eat that specific meal, it will not change the overall exploitation you're talking about. It's like trying to get people to become vegan to save animals; that's nice, but the means of production under capitalism will still produce that cow to live a horrible birth, raised in cramped spaces, and eventually slaughtered. No amount of individual action can ever change the structural inequalities and exploitations. You're worrying over and emphasizing an extremely idealist view of you as a human, that is taking up more and more of your mental capacity that can be used to actually organize or do whatever you desire. You're not wrong, but you're pushing away any productivity that you actually desire. Not trying to be rude if it seems that way. Give yourself grace.