they all pander for their button clickers with similar carnival barker catchphrases to gather their little micro-boosts to raise their Tuber Rank.

People do what helps them make a living. I don't like it any more than you do, but you seem to be attributing way too much baggage to something that's no different to a street vendor hawking their wares at passerby. Times change, but people's motivation stays the same.