Yep, it's the usual question

We're very close, and we're also getting to that age where everyone's trying to settle in

I think she would be extremely sad if she stayed with me and if we didn't have kids

But she also says that our relationship is the best she's ever had and she only wants me

I hate work culture and I don't want to work until I'm 80 because I have kids, it's the biggest issue for me. I want to live as frugally as possible. In addition to that I have hobbies and I want my time spent on my hobbies and interests

I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this, feel free to reply with anything relevant

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 1 point 10 hours ago

Lemmy is pretty anti-kids, so to give you some perspective from a person who had plenty of them and enjoyed parenting -

I think it's worth thinking about what you are working for, what kind of life you want now. Not just hustling hard now to stop working at some future point when you are older. My dad died when he was only about 50, there are no guarantees.

And agree that wanting/not wanting kids is generally one of those things you can't survive disagreement on. Like it's just so big someone is going to be unhappy. I can't say kids were bad for my financial situation overall. When they were small I went to college and ended up ahead of where I would have been. But what a nightmare it would have been for all of us if I didn't want the kids!

I still had hobbies and interests, lol, not sure how your parents were but I think it's better to set an example than to spend all your time actively directing. You can't lose yourself and make your whole life your kids because they do grow up.

  • source