This isn't a swashbuckling pirate, this is your Uncle Jim who worked a gig at some kid's vaguely pirate-themed birthday party

There's not a single arrg bone in this guy's body. He's more of a "how're ya doin' kids, it's me, the pirrrrate" kind of guy, you know?

Like, this dude just does NOT have the energy nor the strength to fire a cannon. You really think HE'S gonna take on a kraken? Nah, dude's never even seen a seagull

You know where this dude lives? Probably some town in Iowa, near a Cracker Barrel

It's in his eyes. I can tell

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[–] [S] 5 points 12 hours ago* (3 children)

The real pirate, now HE has seen some seven seas shit. He's genuinely got the drive, the ambition for baubles and doubloons

Just look at that crazy eye. Bro has yo'd some hella hos, and yar'd some hella hars

Sidenote, the circular text and serif font just make the original logo FEEL nautical and official too

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  • [–] 2 points 12 hours ago* (2 children)

    The new guy doesn't have a sword, either!

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