Dear Canada,

Please consider invading California. Think of the win-win. You get San Diego, the movie industry, and better wine. We get health care, and safety for people who are different.

So come on down. We'll probably surrender. My wife and I are so polite, we're often mistaken for Canadians. We'll even learn to say "aboot."

Think aboot it, eh?

Sincerely,

Me