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[–] 7 points 15 hours ago (10 children)

If you’re a trans person on say a dating app that makes all the difference in considering whether or not someone is safe.

I still wouldn't assume anyone labelling themselves as bisexual is an unsafe person for trans people. I think people use bi and pan interchangeably too much to assume anything without talking to the individual.

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  • [–] 1 point 15 hours ago* (9 children)

    You're twisting my words, I said whether or not someone is safe, not that they're unsafe.

    If you can't confirm that at first look then your only option is better safe than sorry and move on or get into what can very quickly turn into an unpleasant conversation.

    There is nuance and what you assume people do is just your own personal experience.

    My own experience is I've met many a cool bisexual in the right forums. I've also seen plenty a bisexual who hate the term pansexual and thinks it's redundant because they don't acknowledge the nuance. That isn't the kind of person I want to be around. Sure talking helps but when you're a pretty hated minority it's not exactly an attractive proposition to get to know every bisexual.

    To relate this back dating apps, if you're bisexual and down with trans people, let us know on your bio! And if you're someone who is attracted to all just take the dive and go pansexual! It's more specific and let's others know exactly who your interested in.

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  • [–] 2 points 6 hours ago

    I've also seen plenty a bisexual who hate the term pansexual and thinks it's redundant because they don't acknowledge the nuance.

    Sort of an odd thing to say while also missing the nuance between the two and parroting biphobic points.

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  • [–] 2 points 14 hours ago (7 children)

    You're twisting my words, I said whether or not someone is safe, not that they're unsafe.

    To be pedantic... "Whether or not someone is safe" introduces two options: Safe or not safe. Unsafe and "not safe" are more interchangeable than pansexual and bisexual.

    I understand it's not what you meant... but I dont think they're twisting your words. I think it's an honest attempt at faithfully interpreting your words. It's just that the language isn't really built for the kind of distinction you're trying to make.

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  • [–] 0 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (6 children)

    I'd have to agree with you there, I apologize, it's English specific but god does English have some issues like that. To clarify I meant you have no idea of their intentions, so you can't tell if they have ill or well intentioned thoughts towards you, so for your own sake it's easier to assume they are not safe. That doesn't mean they are dangerous but you can't know for certain.

    Edit: To be clear since it doesn't seem like I'm getting my intentions across. Bisexual is a really fucking wide category full of people from different walks of life.

    This means it pulls in a lot of right leaning people because there's no word specific to being attracted to cis men and women.

    There is nothing wrong with being bisexual but the issue is it has similar baggage as being straight which is that there are people within it thay do not believe transgender people are the gender they say they are.

    I thought it really important to cover this with the rise of conservativism in the queer community. The reason why I say bisexuality isn't a safe marker is you don't need to understand there's a spectrum or even that there's more than two gender. Being pansexual does and that's part of my own reason for identifying as such after stating myself to be bisexual for years.

    In a world that wasn't so transphobic I wouldn't bring it up but that's not the world we live in.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 hours ago* (5 children)

    There are plenty of straight people that have no problem dating trans people.

    Painting bisexual and straight people as inherently transphobic is wild.

    Pansexual people can be racist. Is it fair to say that people of color should be wary of pansexuals because that group might contain racists?

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  • [–] 1 point 4 hours ago* (4 children)

    Except nowhere did I say either are inherently transphobic. I was pointing out that you're more likely to run into a transphobic person of either of those groups because it's such a wide encompassing umbrella.

    To me it's no different from saying you're more likely to run into someone who is homophobic who is straight than someone who is homophobic and bisexual.

    As for the racist thing I would say it's a nonsense thing to say because it's totally different. I'd say it's fair that people of color should be wary of white people because because of systemic racism at large has stemmed from white supremacy. Are there people of color who are racist, absolutely, are people of color with internalized racism, absolutely. Should I be the one who should be talking about this, absolutely not nor am I comfortar with it but you brought us to race.

    More than anything I'm sick of having to explain and re-explain that some communities and sexualities are more risky for trans people than others.

    If they weren't it wouldn't be fucking normalized that trans people need to disclaim themselves being transgender with their partners for their own safety.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 hours ago* (3 children)

    I’m refuting that bisexual people are inherently more risky to trans people by virtue of being bisexual.

    There is nothing wrong with being bisexual but the issue is it has similar baggage as being straight which is that there are people within it thay do not believe transgender people are the gender they say they are.

    Why does being bisexual have similar baggage as straight people that make them more transphobic than pansexual people?

    How do you not see that you’re stereotyping groups of people based on their sexual orientation?

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  • [–] 1 point 3 hours ago (2 children)

    You sure abandoned straight people fast.

    I also disagree for the fact that bisexuality is wide encompassing and normalized. It's a term you don't need to understand that there are more than two genders to use.

    You see in this very thread plenty of misunderstandings as to the definition to the extent that one person said they thought it meant attraction to both men and women. That one seems to be the most popular I've seen which is an issue because of how cis normative it is.

    The actual bisexual definition is inclusive and I'm not calling bisexuals evil. I'm saying because of that inclusivity it also includes more problematic people. Different communities have different definitions of bisexual and it just so happens liking both men and women perfectly fits the actual definition of bisexual just as much as say a more conservative and narrow viewed of it.

    You don't have to believe me but I've seen that community and I've been on the internet long enough to know not to assume just because we're both queer that the other person is an ally.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 hours ago* (1 child)

    yeah I’m a part of that community. There’s transphobes in any group. Bisexuals aren’t different from pansexual people because they’re more transphobic.

    I didn’t abandon straight people, I’m trying to be succinct in making my point to you that you are generalizing groups of people based on their sexual orientation.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

    No you are not part of that fucking community.

    The community in question I'm talking about is the alt right and regresive centrists. They draw the line at bisexuality and anything past that is identity politics and make believe.

    This is exactly why I say bisexuals have risk. There are entire communities that function the premise bisexuality means attracted to both men and women emphasis on the both because they think that's where it ends.

    That's why I say it's harder to find a transphobic pansexual person because in order to be pamsexual you need to be progressive enough to believe pansexuals exist in the first place.

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