I've been that partner/kid before. It's amazing to see someone who was utterly helpless and incapable of doing anything without you doing it for them suddenly rediscover how to pay bills before the power or water get cut off once you're out of the picture. Among other things. I'm pretty sure that house is getting condemned eventually for other things being neglected, but somehow the sewer bills get paid before the city puts a lien on the house! You see exactly where the lines are between "things I will offload onto others without shame" and "things I can and must do for myself". Weirdly, the people they respect don't get stuff dumped on their plates the same way those who aren't in that inner circle. So weird that they intuitively understand how power works! And weaponize it!

And, having done my time in retail, there's some people who just don't grasp how anything works and are doing their best, and there are some who have weaponized incompetence down to an art form and are perfectly happy to make a scene if you don't do everything for them they want done.

The former I am glad to work with. Let me blow your mind showing you how to do something I take for granted. Maybe somebody's got some literacy challenges and they're struggling with text. Maybe they're overwhelmed. There's a million things that could be going on. The vibes are totally different. How do you get through the day? No idea, but I'm glad you do. Solidarity.

The latter somehow grasp how to escalate up the management chain until they get what they want, even if you wonder how they remember to breathe while you're interacting with them. They know how to do things but it's easier or better for them to offload it onto you. And they are perfectly happy to punish you for non-compliance in ways that require they grasp how things work in a way that shows what they're doing for exactly what it is. Another commenter said it's a power move and it 100% is.

Years later I ran into a woman who just... never changed her oil. She was aware that oil changes were a thing, but she said, "Oh, I don't do that." She simply bought (or maybe leased, IDK) a new car every couple of years and traded in her rolling tomb of sludge. And yeah, her husband handled anything critical in the household.

I thought maybe that solved the riddle, but depressing to think how many people must be like that.

Phone tells you where to turn now