The classic:

• You look easy to draw

Others:

• You are the type of person who makes the teenage cashier at Chipotle explain why guac costs extra.

• You're the human equivalent of a bag of salad that goes bad the day you buy it, worthless after I already spent my cash.

• Talking to you is like using a public restroom, sometimes necessary, never pleasant and leaves me feeling a little gross after.

• Every conversation with you has the emotional texture of a Terms and Conditions pop-up.

• Being around you feels like watching someone try parallel park for four minutes.

and the best I have ever hear with my own ears, which is not mundane, but is excellent when yelling at the top of your lungs so all the neighbors can hear: "You are a supercilious cunt"