It was not that I would have been drained, no:

• I was, back then, simply — not — able — to — show up!

I really hope, that you never find yourself under such conditions, like (just as an example) depression can put you into, but "show up to them" was an option, as easily realised as if I tell somebody who's paraplegic to just stand up and walk.

Again, I don't complain, that that ended a possible friendship (or even more maybe). I fully understood and still understands it. But it was simply not in my range, to just "show up. It might be hard to believe me there, but that's all I can say about it.