It's weird that you think nearly everyone wants to gloat about their solar panels.

I want it to look good and I don't give a shit whether anyone else knows they're up there or not

The people that'd pay a premium for vanity just don't get solar panels. The only people I could see going for this are tech bros. There's lots of huge houses in my area that have regular solar panels. There's lots of homebuyers here that don't want to see panels or don't want panels at all. And then there's desparate people signing predatory solar panel leases. These tiles don't fit it anywhere near me. I guess an alternate category would be people who must use a visible roof panel to get decent solar production, but plan to sell in a relatively short term. But still, their best option is inaction, not expensive solar. Especially if your electric supplier caps your output.