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Some men are skipping showers before dates to embrace a new trend called pheromone-maxxing (thelemmy.club)
submitted 1 day ago by [M] to c/BrandNewSentence@lemmy.today
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[–] 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

but why do we all peacock so hard instead of just fuckin relaxing with each other?

Taking a shower before a date is peacocking? I mean I don't think you're going to be especially smelly if you haven't showered in a day or two and haven't been exercising or something.

However, I think it's just common courtesy to have your genitalia as clean as possible if there is even a slight possibility of them being in or around someone's mouth later.

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  • [–] -4 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    Mandating it instead of basing it off your hygiene at the moment is lol. Just be fucking natural and relaxed 😂 idk why this is so hard to grasp.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    Who is mandating it? It's just common courtesy.

    Idk why you think having a quick shower to at least wash your genitals is some kind of demanding task? Is performing oral sex on someone with clean genitals somehow unnatural or unrelaxing to you?

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  • [–] -4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

    That's literally the conversation. My argument is that mandating showers before events is not based on any reasonable logic and that the entire meme here screams of shallow peacocking that won't result in long term compatibility or happiness. You're the only one talking about genitals.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    not based on any reasonable logic

    Most people don't want to put unwashed genitals in their mouths or their own genitals.

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  • [+] -8 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    Why are you so centered on genitals?... This is not about genitals or putting them in mouths. Stop making me second hand to whatever fetish this is lol...

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  • [–] 7 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    Dating is a fetish now?

    Sometimes after dates, people decide to have sex. Generally, one might want to be clean enough to not give their potential sex partner an infection or bad taste in their mouth.

    Do I need to explain how babies come to be as well?

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  • [+] -7 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    Then shower before the sex? None of my conversation involves sex or genital hygiene. I'm not discussing it. You are, and yes bringing that into the conversation continually without my consent after I've directly stated I'm not talking about genitals is probably a fetish for you? Unless you're willing to stop talking about it?

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  • [–] 6 points 23 hours ago (1 child)

    Then shower before the sex? None of my conversation involves sex or genital hygiene. I'm not discussing it.

    Have you ever been on a date that ended with sex? Most of the time you aren't exactly asked to take a shower beforehand, expecting someone to have clean genitals is kinda the norm.

    I'm not talking about genitals is probably a fetish for you? Unless you're willing to stop talking about it?

    That line of questioning is devastating to my argument, please stop speaking about it. I do not consent to losing this argument.

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  • [+] -8 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

    God you're fucking shallow and a terrible debater. I'm not diswaying from discussing it because it's some sort of crux to my argument, I'm diswaying from it's discussion because it is unrelated to the discussion. If all you've got in your mind is the others genitals during a date, you're chasing smoke, and you'll realize that when you're older or wiser. Plus, I don't really care to talk about genitals or sex with you, I'll discuss hygiene, but that can be in generic terms with no sexual involvement. My entire point to all of this is that it's shallow to change your habits just to persuade someone into a date/relationship, it's not sustainable long term, and you'll end up unhappy. You are clearly someone who needs to learn that lesson yourself with time.

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  • [–] 0 points 4 hours ago (1 child)

    Bro, I'm glad you've managed to find a husband who is totally cool with all that, but for most people the expectation for a date is best foot forward. This means washing up, dressing nicely, and in general treating it like it's a special occasion. If someone doesn't do that I'm likely to assume either indifference or that they are putting their best foot forward and are less put together normally. It's no different from cleaning your home before bringing someone back to it the first time. It says "I cared enough to clean up, and I don't live in filth or a massive mess"

    But additionally, it is absolutely sustainable to change habits for what people find attractive/tolerable. Sure if something makes you miserable it isn't, but plenty of changes for others aren't ones that make a person miserable and absolutely can be sustained.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 hours ago*

    I just don't see the issue either way. Dating is for compatibility, the normalization of "putting your best foot forward" is not reflective of everyday life. But sure. Continue the trend that's led to a 50% divorce rate in the US and call me crazy 🤷‍♂️.

    And to clarify, I've never at any point said to be unhygienic. There's a difference between hygiene and ritual and the cleaning regime of most people falls into the latter category and is actually, perhaps unintuitvely, damaging to your skin.

    Your dating partner imo should also be comfortable with you as you are, not under any specific or special circumstances. It's not sustainable over long periods of time such as the decades you'll potentially spend together. Perhaps this is just the perspective of an old soul, but I've been around the block and I've found the more effort you put in outside of your normal self, the more likely you are to find out you're incompatible farther down the line than right away. I'm not trying to give an excuse to the guy who's not showered in a week or who absolutely reeks the second the walk in the room, but to pretend it's something you must do before a date and that going into it smelling natural is obscene is just investing heavily into a pervasive peacocking mindset that's caused everyone to be more shallow in their day to day. It's a side effect of the commercialization of personal health.

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  • [–] 8 points 23 hours ago

    God you're fucking shallow and a terrible debater. I'm not diswaying from discussing it because it's some sort of crux to my argument, I'm diswaying from it's discussion because it is unrelated to the discussion.

    So shallow because I want to be clean before a date......? Part of that cleanliness is obviously going to involve your genitals as you are going on a date which often concludes with sex.

    This is unrelated how?

    If all you've got in your mind is the others genitals during a date, you're chasing smoke, and you'll realize that when you're older or wiser.

    Lol, I'm very confident that I am older than you. Having the forethought to predict that your sexual partner would like you to be clean does not take a lot of processing power for most people.

    Plus, I don't really care to talk about genitals or sex with you, I'll discuss hygiene, but that can be in generic terms with no sexual involvement.

    It's kinda an important aspect of being in a romantic relationship......

    My entire point to all of this is that it's shallow to change your habits just to persuade someone into a date/relationship, it's not sustainable long term, and you'll end up unhappy.

    Lol, long-term relationships are all about both people changing their personal behavior in a way that makes their partners life easier. That's part of growing old with the person you love. The fact you think relationships are about never making a personal compromise or remaining true to a false image of yourself let's me know you are either in your twenties or have never been in a relationship longer than 5 years.

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  • [–] 6 points 22 hours ago

    Nobody is saying to change your personality or habits so you can PERSUADE someone to date you. You are adding that yourself. It's like dudes not wiping their ass after they shit cuz "touching your butt is gay" and then getting upset women don't want to go on dates with them cuz they smell bad lol.

    Why don't you have a date in a Waffle House bathroom if you don't care about smells?

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  • [–] 5 points 23 hours ago (1 child)

    That's literally the conversation. My argument is that mandating showers before events

    I don't think you know what mandate means? Making fun of people who are confusing body odor with pheromones is not the same as someone giving an official command to always bathe before dates.

    the entire meme here screams of shallow peacocking

    What do you think peacocking means? I don't know how someone is going to make themselves stand out of the crowd by bathing.

    You're the only one talking about genitals.

    Do you not think the condition of your genitals may have something to do with why you should take a shower? Especially before going on a date?

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  • [–] -5 points 23 hours ago (1 child)

    I know what mandate means, it's fine you don't understand me I don't wish to clarify.

    Peacocking is just changing any set of habits to impress over your baseline, it doesn't require any specific or significant signifer and can be hygiene, dress, financial, or otherwise.

    I think that you're too fuckin shallow if you think a date directly ties to sex, but hey, lots of people are.

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  • [–] 6 points 23 hours ago

    Peacocking is just changing any set of habits to impress over your baseline

    That is not the commonly understood definition of peacocking......

    "Peacocking is a social behavior where someone dresses or acts in a flashy, exaggerated way to grab attention and stand out from a crowd"

    you're too fuckin shallow if you think a date directly ties to sex, but hey, lots of people are.

    Wut? I wouldn't exactly go on a date to acquire a platonic friendship..... Typically dates are tied to a romantic relationship, most romantic relationships include sexual intercourse.

    It's hilarious that you think being considerate to your partner makes you shallow. I feel bad for any of your current or future significant others.

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