Take a shower and wash the pants in the shower. Shit is water-soluble, that is to say it can dissolve in water. I think there may be some oil in it but it soups wash out. What doesn’t go down the shower drain, move by hand to the toilet and wash your hands.

Now you have wet pants. In the northern hemisphere it’s still summer, so they should dry relatively quickly outside. Play it off somehow. Be the guy or gal who fell in the pool.