At one point, I was undergoing a divorce that threatened to ruin me financially and estrange me from my kids. The stress triggered an underlying previously unknown-to-me autoimmune disease (Crohn's) that left me in wracking pain and unable to control my bowels. At the same time, my job was threatened and I had to pull 10+ hour debugging sessions. And because of contentious divorce allegations, I was getting drug tested and couldn't even chew an edible.
It was during those months that I learned:
I cannot self-terminate. If I could, I would have.
Graduate-level science and math courses on YouTube that you are not actually getting graded on are the greatest salvation. No stress, only info that is real, challenging, and deeply meaningful.