maybe 10 years ago, i was dating somebody. we were both mid 30s-ish. at the time, i would have considered myself a "social drinker" because i only had a few if i was at a party of some kind, and had been that way for years prior. i remember going to meet my gf's family (2 parents, 3 siblings + 2 partners, +4 other family) at thanksgiving and within 30 minutes of arriving, everybody was focused on making sure they had enough to drink at the house, and figuring out how much and what everybody "needed" and that everybody was more or less contributing in proportion to what they would drink.

my initial read was that it was kind of funny, all these 30-50+ year olds dedicated to "the party" of a house gathering like broke 22 year olds. by the second day i realized it was actually pretty grim. it was because more than a few legitimately "needed" to be half in the bag starting at 11am or they would become very unpleasant. and it would be additionally "bad" if inventory ran out, because they would likely try to sneak out and buy more despite being intoxicated and there were already issues with DUIs. so like it was a coordinated team effort to enable this shit and prevent unpleasantness. and it was all obviously super normal for these people. i was the odd ball for not needing anything, and being contented with nothing.

it definitely feels like a quasi-generational thing, and i am near some kind of cusp. like i quit altogether several years ago and people younger than me i hang out with socially do not find this odd or even something to acknowledge. they don't organize events centered around drinking. people older than me seem to expect i'll want to drink and want some kind of story or assume i had a "problem" that drove me to quit when i turn down the offer.

the reality is, i had stopped altogether before covid, just because it's dumb and i don't like being dehydrated. nor do i like feeling that extra "bleh" when i wake up.

Yeah, nearly everyone in my family had 1+ drinks per day. For some 3-4 was the floor. Now, they all have major health problems or have died an early death. I thank my autistic desire to remain fully in control of myself for never getting into alcohol or other drugs at a young age. I have since relented a little and enjoy psychedelics from time to time.

Have a friend that before I largely stopped drinking I considered my canary in the coal mine because he probably still puts away at least 3-4 drinks a day, the employees at the corner store near his house all know him by name.