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What's your entirely unimportant and inconsequential hot take?
(crazypeople.online)
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this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2026
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All post death stuff is for those still living, to~~p~~ help them cope
*edit: I'm a careless typer
Functionally yes, but those partaking generally see it as a gesture for the deceased, not therapy in disguise.
I'm all for therapy, it's just the way we go about it in this context is stupid and wasteful.
Everyone gets together for an event that's seen as important, comforting things are said, then everyone goes and eats together and tells each other stories about the person they lost. Seems like a great way to go about it to me.
Eh, there's a line to be sure. if folks want to have a potluck in remembrance of a loved one, I have have zero issue with that. I guess it's more the industry surrounding it that offends me - the expensive venue, specialty vehicles, the resources dumped into making a fancy box to keep the corpse in, and then just bury, and ofc the insanely wasteful use of land to give basically housing to corpses. It all feels very exploitive, like you 'owe' your dead mom the nice polished marble tombstone. ...and I'm here to tell you, your dead mom doesn't give the tiniest shred of fuck what her tombstone's made out of. Or that she has a tombstone at all.
Well, in particular, my Mum was cremated as per her wishes, and that's what my Dad plans too, but I don't begrudge the coffin or the cars - none of us were in a fit state to drive and we weren't about to shove her in the incinerator in a body bag out from someone's boot. I don't know what else you wanted us to do instead. She has a little stone in the kerb lining the path to the crematorium, because we didn't want there to be nothing physical left after we scattered her ashes. The funeral directors were very good at their job, very useful to have around, and a great help on a difficult day. All your contempt for having a ceremony and making an event out of it, by contrast, not so helpful. If you ever meet anyone on real life who's grieving, please don't talk to them like you vent online.
I work in healthcare, I meet people grieving pretty regularly. My opinions stay at the door - I'll even go as far as praying with patients, and I don't have a shred of religion in me... to the contrary, I fucking despise religion; but if that's what brings them comfort, then fuck it, I'll play along.
Your case is basically the same gig - if having a mom urn brings you comfort, then you do you. Difference is that you already know my opinion, so we're bashing heads right out the gate, but I'll remind you of the thread topic to proclaim an unpopular opinion that we know doesn't mean shit.
Dude, you don't need to justify your decisions to me, and you certainly don't need to change your behavior based on an internet stranger's 'hot take'. Where you see comfort in ceremony, I see an industry that relies on predation of people during an extremely vulnerable time. Engaging with that industry makes me feel taken advantage of; but there's a lot of social pressure to conform which makes it feel even more uncomfortable. Our opinions don't need to be reconciled.