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[–] 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Thank you for calling 9-1-1. Due to high call volume, we are experiencing longer wait times than usual. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed. If you have a cat in a tree, please press or say "one." If you are experiencing a robbery, please press or say "two." If you are being kidnapped, please press or say "three." If you are being assaulted and or battered, please press or say "four." If your keys are locked in your car, please press or say "five." If you are in labor, please press or say "six." For more options, press or say "zero..."

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