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One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it. (thelemmy.club)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [M] to c/BrandNewSentence@lemmy.today
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[–] 66 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Imagining a fantasy setting where elves, dwarves, orcs and whatnot are just continually baffled by humans eating the most vile toxic things.

Salsa? You mean a mix of a hemolytic poison (onions), a cardiotoxin (tomatoes), and a nerve agent (chili peppers)? Eaten with corn chips dusted with a lethal amount of salt, and washed down with a cup full of neurotoxin (iced tea)?

Stay the fuck away from me because clearly you are the vile spawn of some incomprehensible eldritch god

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  • [–] 26 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    In D&D dwarves have resistance to poison damage and advantage on saving throws against poison, so they would be the ones with food no one else could eat safely.

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  • [–] 31 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    To everyone else, dwarf food seems bland. Since the dwarf cooking it couldn't add any of there normal spices. "Can humans eat rocks? I don't think so, better skip them." (Then skips the salt)

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  • [–] 17 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    Fun fact; you shouldn't swallow pebbles. You can digest them, but they are rich in toxic minerals, to the point that your kidney gets overwhelmed.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago* (2 children)

    oh btw there's these clay eating people all around the world.

    they're eaten for various reasons, sometimes because of health benefits (de-tox) or due to lack of proper food.

    Impact on health

    Clay minerals have been reported to have beneficial microbiological effects, such as protecting the stomach against toxins, parasites, and pathogens.[43][44] Humans are not able to synthesize vitamin B12 (cobalamin), so geophagia may be a behavioral adaptation to obtain it from bacteria in the soil.[45] Mineral content in soils may vary by region, but many contain high levels of calcium, copper, magnesium, iron, and zinc; these minerals are critical for developing fetuses, which may explain cravings by pregnant women to chew metallic objects, soil, ice cravings. Pregnant women may also experience ice-chewing cravings or drives towards specifically cold food to trigger vasoconstricting, which increases brain oxygen levels by restricting neck veins; both cravings, soil and ice, may have familial and environmental links.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    Somehow that has me imagining Japanese dwarves being especially fond of that one pufferfish dish that's toxic unless cooked just right.

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  • [–] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    HumanityFuckYeah is a genre that is basically this, although it's most often in a scifi setting.

    Usually depicting humans reaching the wider universe and baffling/overcoming large more advanced galactic empires due to Earth effectively being a death world where everything is trying to kill us.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 weeks ago* (1 child)

    Earth effectively being a death world where everything is trying to kill us.

    I'd be chill with that, but my experience with r/HFY was mostly humans being more amazing than aliens in every way for no apparent good reason. Just so weird.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 child)

    Tbf dwarven religions are like "my ancestors carved these rules with their hands to guide us forward" and elven religions are like "my ancestors got intimate with a fae, starting our race. Also their firstborn is still alive."

    Meanwhile human religions are like "here is a horse that's made out of all living beings, with a woman's face too. Mortals who mount it can go to heaven for 5 seconds."

    Al-Buraq painting from wikipedia. It shows an elephant's torso, feet made out of bird heads, and tail an eastern dragon. There is also rabbits and lions and so on scattered around. The painting has a sense of movement like the animals are constanly squirming and biting each other etc in a loop

    Mythology Reference.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 week ago

    let's not forget that a lot of human religion is also just "thank u sun for making us not freeze to death, very cool. You too, water: big fan of watering my crops."

    Which is probably my favourite HFY concept: humans being ludicrously diverse while everyone else has like maybe 5 different cultures.
    Even better there's one non-human species that's also super diverse and we both go

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  • [–] 1 point 1 week ago*

    The best settings are where everyone is morbidly fascinated by each other.

    Humans are effectively viewed as stereotypical frenchmen, constantly smoking and drinking and eating violently stinky food.
    Dwarves think asbestos has a wonderful crunchy texture that goes great with a tall glass of mercury.
    Elves cannot comprehend why you wouldn't simply drink raw magic like a civilized person (you gotta try some Yith'Illian merlinot, they age it for two hundred years in silverwood caskets which gives it a gorgeous silky texture).
    Orcs consider most human food to be ultraprocessed slop for babies, but have become borderline addicted to our hard candy and have formed a deep friendship with dwarves over sharing bones to gnaw on.

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