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Don't Call Me. Ever.
(thelemmy.club)
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this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2026
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I need your immediate answer. If I knew you'd answer straight away to a message I'd be fine with that, but I can't be waiting for the zoomer on the other end to muscle up courage to check my message and maybe answer it at some point
Tbh you have the same issue with people in general with emails.
What is that saying, 'lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part' or something.
My friends know that they only call me if their house is actively on fire, they are being robbed at gunpoint, or they just won the lottery and want to split the winnings. Family also includes lunch/dinner plans. Only exception is when we have planned a call for a date and time, otherwise you're greeting my voicemail. Landlines is the exact same situation. I might be taking a shower, asleep, taking a dump, getting freaky with a friend; it doesn't matter. Leave a text message and I'll get back as soon as I'm done crying from taco tuesday, or finishing waking up the neighbors with moans and screams, or whatever else.
Email is 'sometime today' communication, and gets handled at the beginning or end of the day, or whenever I'm on the can. Anyone expecting a rapid response via email is a proper dunce.
These emergencies come up because the planners (the people I'm trying to urgently reach) haven't planned properly. Everything is fine if the situation on the ground is the same as they think in the city office or the consulting firm, but once something unexpected comes up that hasn't been accounted for, I need to reach certain people, quick. We could make decisions on our own but the that's often specifically not allowed without consulting those certain people...
So plan better or be around to pick up the phone.
Tap for spoiler
we're apparently all just painting hypotheticals/anecdotes so here's mineYou probably didn't need an immediate answer, but you wanted one. You also pressured me into making a quick decision based on 2 paragraphs of new information you just dumped on me, expecting me to not only remember all of it, but immediately understand and integrate it into my decision making process.
I'll probably remember half of your info dump at best and the likelihood of you getting the answer you were hoping for just went down hard because I feel slighted by your ambush and because I don't feel informed enough to give you a "yes".
If I did say "yes" we might be in bigger trouble though, since I likely misunderstood or forgot something.
Put it in writing and make both our lives easier.
You can still call if I didn't reply after 10 minutes.
You can even include your deadline in the message if you have one.
I'm sorry I inconvenienced you while I was down in the dig, waiting for the hole to fill up with mud. I should've taken off my gear and typed a whole ass messages, to be answered whenever, because you want to take your time.
Lol. Sometimes shit needs an answer right away
Absolutely agreed, there are situations that call for a call. Some people seem to think that's every situation though.
It's still faster for me to tell you that you are an idiot for calling me with a phone call you made to me than it is for me to type out a reply as a text message.
what sort of friendships do you have where you're routinely running into extremely time sensitive important decisions?
sounds like you just plan poorly tbh
if this is about work, then same goes. phone calls are undocumented and I'm not gonna give you any proper answer via phone on the spot unless it's a very simple yes/no
Usually it's a case of documentation and plans missing something you notice at the actual site/during digging. Could also just stop working waiting for answer to a message (lol and how many days does that take) but that's going to cost everyone a lot and can even be dangerous.
It's always the same with people who do the planning and people actually working at the site...
"We have an issue, this and this are here instead of here and now this doesn't work"
"Well they should be there, have you checked the documentation?"
"It's not mentioned"
"Well something has gone wrong, it should be there and mentioned"
Lol no shit but it isn't and now we need to know how to proceed or shit gets fucked
you know what, I'm with you on that. some people deserve to be called on the spot
not me, though. very very rarely is it warranted.
I'll give an example of how this typically goes in my experience. yesterday I wasted several hours investigating a "critical issue" on site. it turns out that this issue was addressed 6 months ago, and well documented by email and chat, with handoff of responsibilities to the appropriate parties. those parties didn't do fucking shit with that information. so yesterday the guys on site call in about 10 of us to have a group call, and we're all just sitting there wasting time waiting for files to open so that the designers can look into the issue. lots of man-minutes wasted in that call alone, when the guys on site could have just sent a message saying "hey this thing is over here instead of over there where it was expected, what's the deal with that?", and we would have gotten back in an hour with what was going on. but instead, we all sit through as a group on this very important call listening to somebody explain something that they clearly don't know the context for, because their own superiors neglected to give them the information on it. so it's up to us to dig back through over half a year of documentation to come to the conclusion that this is the same issue that we already preemptively addressed six months ago, and here's all the information that we handed off at the time that your department did nothing with and fucked over the guys on site by not telling them shit.
so yeah, don't fucking call me. send me a message and I'll get back to you with a concise response, or call your own superiors because they're the ones who fucked up and I have the documentation showing that. you guys just set back three other projects for this bullshit. repeat several times a week and oh now my week is spent and new projects are going to have shit quality stuff in them because I had to spend my time dealing with bullshit.
so that's my pov lol. I've been trying to spend time designing a new project every day this week, and I've spent a grand total of 3 hours on it so far because of shit that I keep getting dragged into, about 50% of which is dumb shit from somebody else not doing their job
weird I'm an elder millennial and you just sound unprepared. do I need to hold your hand? why can't you find the information you need yourself with the resources everyone else uses? why are you always in this state on immediacy? why is your failing someone else's fault because they didn't answer "immediately"? why do you sound like my abusive father? it's almost like you don't think ahead and blame others for your shortcomings. I have a shit memory and ADHD and I don't need to "get someone on the horn".
git gud n00b
Boy a lot of projection going on here, lol.
There are many many pieces of information that you can’t just Google/LLM bro. Sometimes (though usually not often), that info needs to be known urgently. Expectation of many jobs.
So you need someone else to do your job, too?!
Uh no, different people have different responsibilities and ownerships of parts of a process. That is a hallmark of any job where you work in a team. Occasionally, that elevates to an urgent level where a phone call is necessary to ensure a loop is closed.
that's what it sounds like to me too. I can feel the Peter principal through the screen
I should've brought my laptop to the bottom of the dig and studied a whole ass different profession so someone who has actually studied and works to provide the info I need doesn't have to answer the scary phone lol
"who should we hire to answer emergency technical calls?"
"hold on let me call someone to find out.... no one answerd"
"we need to act IMMEDIATELY! just hire anyone"
::hires phone phobic person, no training, no probationary period, full send::
It's not a specific emergency phone operator position, rather just the relevant consultant or someone from the city. It's their fuck up if they aren't hiring someone who can actually handle the calls.
My mate fell in the acid tank.
I am calling you. Immediately.
I swear if you don't call emergency services immediately I'm going to never stop bringing it up
Sounds like a you problem.
It's potentially an issue for everyone if the work is delayed. Me, others working the site, people living there, the city if they don't want the delay etc.
Yep, reading your other posts about it, this is definitely one circumstance when someone needs to pick up the damn phone. I was falsely limiting my thoughts on the subject to casual situations, not serious projects like the ones you work on.
For casual situations and non-urgent stuff I agree that there's usually no need to insist on a call