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Disabled Community Megathread from July 27th, 2026 to Aug. 9th, 2026 (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 months ago by [M] to c/disabled@hexbear.net
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You are welcome, you are safe, you matter, and you belong. Have a great week everyone.

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As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:

"Disability" is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.

Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.

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[–] 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

I keep wanting to tell people. I even think I posted here before and deleted it. But it keeps popping into my brain and I cant get over it

We had a case of an alcoholic inuk patient who had to sit on his ass waiting for hours because nobody wanted to deal with him. When he was finally seen I was the only one who wanted to be there. And at one point he tells me that he was being discriminated against, that he was being profiled and that was why it took so long and why he was being treated that way. And it was. And I had to sit there and tell him to stay because he deserved to be treated just as much as the white people. Because he did, and he needed to be seen, and this wasn't right.

And then he starts being so fucking sexist to the doctor I dont know what to do and I just have to stand there assuring him that the doctor who waited 4 hours (of the 12 he waited) to treat him because he's inuk isn't a bad doctor because she's a woman while trying to convince the head nurse that I am not going to wrestle a man for his vodka bottle no matter if im larger than him or not.

I tell him that as far as i was concerned the vodka was anasthesia just to avoid a fight.

He gets seen, the doctor wants a scan to co er her ass and when he's told he'll have to wait for it, he leaves because he knows they will use any excuse not to see him so it will take forever. I try negotiating but he's right. He's so fucking right in everything he says.

He leaves against doctor's order and I am the idiot having to follow around the people who did this to him.

I'm the only guy who he'll talk to and also the only guy who wants to be there. He got treated poorly, he didn't get his follow up and he's not gonna seek out his own doctor to get his results and his own doctor might be a fucking racist too.

I keep going back to it. I know i can't like fix racism, but he was done so wrong and I couldn't make it right.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

    Thanks for posting this. The discrimination doesn't even apply to me but this resonates with me anyway because I've been getting the runaround for a long while now and it's wearing me down. I've been admitted to the hospital a few times recently but never a diagnosis for the aspects that are actually life-ruining because those are outpatient issues and I am consistently not heard in outpatient. I don't know how to summarize the details of how I am suffering in just ten minutes, I have no idea which details are relevant and which aren't, and no one with the knowledge to help has more time than that. I try to work out guesses before each visit of what symptoms might be a clue, come in with a narrative to focus on, but sometimes I just feel defeated and take a few months to regroup.

    In my case I'm not sure it's even the fault of anyone I'm interacting with, the people pushing me aside are generally burned out and overworked. When I'm in the moment though it's hard not to feel neglected. There have been moments where I have to remind myself that healthcare professionals are not a monolith working in lockstep to push me aside.

    I broke down pretty badly and tried to drag my feet on being discharged in a recent hospital stay. I kicked and screamed about you guys admit me when scans show I should get stents put in my abdomen and I am suffering from undiagnosed abdominal issues, there has to be a connection there, but it felt like everyone was just mad at me for doing that and ultimately I didn't have the emotional fortitude to hold my ground. Everyone preaches advocating for yourself until you actually do it.

    Mom was an icu nurse in the past and says this is by far the best hospital within driving distance and I would regret trying to go elsewhere. The sad thing is I fully believe her.

    I haven't opened these megathreads before because I've perceived the intended purpose as a safe space for the disabled, which I ostensibly am not. In reality I've been functionality disabled with recovery just around the corner for two and a half years now. It's becoming harder not to look at my medical issues as a legitimate disability, even if I can't say what they are and no one will validate me on it.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    A safe space for the disabled also means that we can share our burdens here. It's incredibly difficult to admit to yourself that whatever it is you're suffering from is disabling you in any sense. To go one step further and admit you're disabled takes a lot of strength and courage, especially in an environment where being disabled is almost always treated as something "to be avoided". That's one of the reasons why we have the mega, so that you and everyone here can talk about these experiences, struggles and (internal) conflicts.

    I wish there was a solution I could present to you that would help you get checked with the time and care you need, but unfortunately I can't. All I can do is encourage you to keep trying, even though I know what you're up against seems insurmountable. Sending you a lot of love, comrade, and remember you are always welcome here. meow-hug

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago* (1 child)

    The emotional hurdle for me is that it feels the opposite of brave. I'm inclined to look at the most extreme, visually evident disabilities and say I'm nowhere near that limited so calling my issues a "disability" is trivializing how desperately others need accommodations by playing up what I'm enduring.

    I can walk through rationally why this mindset isn't reasonable or healthy, but I've internalized so much invalidation that it's hard to shake. Right now I can barely leave home so I can confidently state this is legitimate, but the instant my symptoms ease up I start believing I've been dramatizing the whole time. I know I'm wrong when I start believing that, I have so much evidence now to point to, but the emotions behind it just don't dissipate.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago

    It takes time. I can tell you that I sometimes feel like I'm only pretending to be disabled, even though I have a confirmed list of proven disabilities. I think this feeling of "I'm trivializing other people's struggle by calling myself disabled" is a result of our conditioning - we're always shown people who have it worse, or are reprimanded for needing help even though we "look fine" or some other nonsense. It's a process of unlearning these beliefs because they have always been wrong, but it's not like you can magically just say "I'm disabled and I need help" and suddenly everything is better. That's what I meant when I said it takes strength and courage. You don't just have to admit to yourself that you need help because of a disability, you also have to sit through a lot of waiting, degrading and belittling until you get a chance for help.

    Again, I have no idea how to unlearn these structures, and this is how I've approached this problem for myself: I've usually just tried to stop myself from thinking this way and ask myself why I feel so bad when I think of myself as disabled. What I know by now is that none of the reasons have anything to do with my disabilities or myself. All the negative emotions tied to it come from what I've experienced others say or do to me, or the general difference in treatment I get when I tell people I'm disabled. Once I got there, it started becoming easier to accept disability as a label for myself because I know it's true and I chose it, not because someone else tells me what I am and am not entitled to.

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