I have to admit I'm not entirely outside though, I do have ADHD and, well, that has been an exercise of learning in its own right but in different ways and learning to understand myself and others.

I think when I first got my ADHD diagnosis I kind of rejected the umbrella term of neurodiverse because it lumped things like this, which are often autism related traits, with ADHD which I assumed to be purely around executive dysfunction. That is to say I didn't like to be perceived as being socially different, my issues were related to more easily identified things around task management and nothing to do with how I think or behave or act.

But I'm recently learning that it doesn't really seem to be true at all. I didn't realise how many of my "personality quirks" are actually common to other people with ADHD or actually how there can be significant crossovers of traits with those that are autistic (either mostly alone or AuDHD). For example RSD seems to be something that I experience rather acutely and understanding it as something other than a flaw in my personality has been really healthy. Same with the way that I talk to people or understanding that talking about shared experiences can be perceived by others as making the conversation all about me...

So whilst I score low on autism spectrum tests, I am learning more and more about how neurodiverse is a not a term to shy away from or reject as there really is a lot more in common than I previously admitted to myself. And to that end, how could I possibly reject, fail to understand or learn to accommodate somebody else's issues just because they are different to my own?

Weirdly, I am actually in the medical field, -ish. I'm more in one of those background healthcare support type roles (biomedical scientist) but have worked in and have a good understanding of the medical field as a whole and sometimes I've managed to use that knowledge to try to help some of my friends who do have some of these struggles to help them understand the best way to actually navigate healthcare and "how to play the game". (Not that playing the game should be required but we are talking short term healthcare here rather than long term change).

Examples I can think of was when I was talking to a friend looking for help with a non-specific chronic pain problem and things like explaining or understanding pain from the Mankoski Pain Scale compared to the typical 1-10 "how much does it hurt" scale - because the former relates the pain to life and how it affects you, not just an arbitrary "ouchy" scale.

Similarly I had to recommend that she not try to over explain everything. Some doctors have egos or can be very dismissive of certain patients so was helping her understand that she should just be purely descriptive - "this hurts when I do this", "it hurts most in the morning", "it stops me doing x, y or z" rather than trying to use any researched terminology or any self diagnosis "I think I have fibromyalgia". Let the doctor come to the conclusion based on what you tell them.

Now, to be clear to anyone reading this, that does absolutely not mean that you just accept whatever they say or that you cannot challenge them. In a perfect would you could tell them whatever you want and they will listen and come to, hopefully, the correct answer. However we know that doctors, particularly GPs, can often be stressed, overworked, dismissive, wary of hypochondriacs, people seeking drugs that can be abused or even just having their egos bruised. The advice I try to give is really just around not setting off those alarm bells - and for some who do think a little more literally and don't speak in the way that the original post talks about - because that leads to missed diagnoses, frustrations with the system and worse outcomes, just because the two people don't quite understand each other. It is a genuine problem in healthcare and we need to be better at training doctors to deal with it but if in the short term I can help some people out in not being dismissed then I consider it worth it.

Sorry this got waaaaay too long before I even noticed.... so, errrr, thank you for coming to my TED talk?