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Hegseth to Personally Test Erection Strength of Each Soldier (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 month ago by ZeroCool@piefed.ca to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that he is rolling out a new program to ensure that the military is at its “absolute best” by personally checking the erection strength of all servicemen over the age of thirty, according to confused sources within the Pentagon.

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[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

The obese orange imbecile initially wanted to do it, but backed out once they told him the soldiers were actually older than 12.

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