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Anon likes a woman (thelemmy.club)
submitted 2 months ago by [M] to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 4 points 2 months ago (8 children)

I have moments where I miss the flirting and the attention, but I don't miss the loneliness...greener grass and all that.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (7 children)

    I'm the same as you, but in reverse: I sometimes miss being alone, but I don't miss the flirting and the attention.

    And honestly, the "missing the loneliness" has kinda been fixed now that we no longer live in small apartments, but have a house with rooms where we can be ourselves when we need it. We are that weird kind of couple who love being alone together. He does his thing, I do mine and occassionally one comes over to give the other a hug and a smooch. And if one or the other needs extra attention, we put down whatever we are working on to give it to them. For example, he's gotten hooked on collecting fossils recently and sometimes he bursts with the need to do lectures about pre-historic aquatic life and their anatomy and he comes over and dumps one fossil in my hands after the other while he talks. It's the same when I go off on one of my things. Like I can talk at length about movies, foreign cultures and their habits and languages. And then we have a mutual interest in birds. Like I saw a raven fly over our house the other day and immediately called him and we babbled for several minutes about my observations to make sure it was a raven and not a crow. If either of us are out and see a weird bird, we snap a pic if possible and send it to the other and discuss what bird it is if it isn't immediately apparent.

    How the frick would I find a guy like that ever again? Do they even make those anymore? I need someone to match my level of mundane weird.

    Ps: this is his most recent bird identification pic in our privat chat. He correctly identified it as a curlew. I double checked my bird lexicon. The rest of our chat is full of pictures of fossils xD

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (6 children)

    Oh man I love birds! You two sound so solid and really cool, just so you know!!

    All of that sounds just lovely. And I totally get missing being alone/independent and how with the right partner and living conditions you can still get that :)

    As for the attention on my part, my partner doesn't mind it when I flirt with friends because they know we are monogamous so it's all just for fun, but it does help me get the attention I so desperately need :P

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago* (5 children)

    Thank you xD I mean, I'm a fan of us too, but I'm also super biased lol.

    I think its awesome that you guys have that agreement. There are also many different ways of flirting and the innocent kind, is no harm no foul. And as long as people figure out what works for them and everyone is happy, then who can be mad? I think I have pretty much seen it all at this point, considering that I have always moved in unconventional social circles. I'm a pretty basic bitch, but somehow have always found myself around people who are gay or trans or in polyamorous relationships or are swingers or into extreme body modification and so on (methinks it is undiagnosed ADHD or something like that. Fucking always end up with the outcasts in society). I can tell the difference between people who are in healthy dynamics and those who aren't. Flirting with friends while everyone involved understand the boundaries, is so chill.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    I feel like we are basically the same hahaha. I'm a lil freak but as far as monogamy goes im very basic but im also surrounded by people in poly/open relationships. I get asked frequently whether my partner and I are open hahaha, it's a really good compliment tho!

    You may be onto something with the ADHD thing. I find neurodivergent folks tend to find each other, and I've been diagnosed ASD (previously Aspergers) since I was 6 years old, but I've watched many friends be diagnosed as we get older lol, so there's some merit to that thought.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    Lol, it is funny how us weirdos always seem to find one another. Then you know what it's like xD I like having my views on the world challenged. I like knowing people who are different and live different lives from myself. If I had the wanderlust, I think I would have been someone who travels the world to make friends in every corner, but alas, I fucking hate travelling, dude. Planes and airports can go fuck themselves. I have agreed with myself that the only time I'm gonna travel for the rest of my life is when I go to see my best friend who lives thousands of km away. Ain't no way I'm putting myself through all that shit for anyone else.

    HA! You being ASD makes sense. I always vibe with people on the spectrum. Always. I often find them to have the right amount of nerd in them to carry interesting conversations and they tend to be a calming antidote to my chaos. I become an irl cartoon character when I speak with people. Spectrum people are nice because they rarely react to my nonsense and if they do, they rarely judge. And, I mean, same with them. They may be weird to some people, but to me I'm like: Ah, my kind of person. One of the first friends I made in my teens was ASD as well (not diagnosed at the time) and she thought I was gay and hitting on her for weeks because I kept pestering her to be friends.

    That is so funny that your friends, one by one have gotten diagnosed! Seriously, I always thought I was normal, right? That I was just really good at relating to people who were different because I am a bit offputting myself, I think? So I have been around people with every diagnosis under the sun since my teens and it was only a few years ago that my boyfriend brought up to me that he was 99% sure I had undiagnosed ADHD and that I should stop being so hard on myself all the time. Was like "the fuck?" and then a lot of things made sense all of a sudden. Because ADHD is the only diagnosis I struggled to understand. When people told me about their issues and symptoms I was always like: But that's just what it's like to live, innit? Maybe I'm too stupid to understand ADHD?" and I read about it and listened some more to friends and colleagues who have it and it still just didn't click for me because that's how I feel all the time, but I'm normal, so I must just not get it. Not even once did I put two and two together, dude. Not once. Not until my man spelled it out for me at age 34. :'D I am dense as a brick sometimes.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    That sounds so similar to so many stories I've heard! The ADHD symptoms are so similar to symptoms neurotypical people also experience, it just impacts our (people with ADHD) lives so much more, so it's no surprise it goes undiagnosed for so long. It's really easy to assume you're normal especially when you get good grades in elementary school as is the case most of the time with ADHD it seems.

    And women just in general have less research to help back up the diagnosis!

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    So true! I have always managed to skate by in life because I'm relatively unremarkable most of the time. I have described my life strategy as being on on a boat full of holes and I constantly run around applying flex tape and scooping water out in buckets to keep it afloat. From afar my boat looks like every other boat in the water, but up close it is constant maintenance to appear somewhat normal. It's gotten a bit easier to accept the mess after I realized that maybe it's not entirely my own fault that I struggle with certain things.

    And for real, women do get diagnosed far less than men, but it's getting so much better nowadays. I don't think I'll ever be officially diagnosed as I manage pretty okay all things considered. I'm just glad other people who struggle more than me, get the chance to get help.

    Also, sorry for the late reply. I had surgery today so I have been a bit out of it. Everything went well, though. I hope you have a lovely day, my friend! ❤️

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