Blobby and Friends

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[–] 57 points 2 months ago (11 children)

My opinion also, but in a slightly darker radical tone that I never share otherwise: bringing someone into this world of suffering is a misguided act of unconscious selfishness and whoever does so owes all available effort to reduce that suffering. In practice, no one is able to acquit themselves of this debt, which is why I hope I never have kids...

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  • [–] 46 points 2 months ago (14 children)

    That's a very nihilistic view that implies existence is not worth anything. Personally, I believe that existing is actually beautiful and worth experiencing, even if it sucks sometimes and has inherit suffering. Otherwise we might as well all lie down, stop eating or drinking, and wait for death. Kids don't see the world as suffering and pain — they enjoy every moment with unjaded, curious eyes.

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  • [–] 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Kids don't see the world as suffering and pain — they enjoy every moment with unjaded, curious eyes.

    Well, you know, ideally

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  • [–] 11 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    Kids don't see the world as suffering and pain — they enjoy every moment with unjaded, curious eyes.

    Nah, this is fake news. I hated being a kid and was passively suicidal. Once I was an adult, I got to trans My gender and be happy.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    In this context, where we're talking about having children, would you do it better? You wouldn't let your kids suffer the same way you did, right? That's called generational healing.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 child)

    which is why I hope I never have kids

    If you truly believe what you say, don’t just hope you don’t have kids. Either get fixed or don’t have sex.

    And I already put my money where my mouth is, I got fixed to ensure I will never get pregnant.

    Edit: Sorry if I come off rude in a comment like this. As the daughter of a man who didn’t want his kids and blamed my mom for getting pregnant, I get really frustrated when I see guys “hope” they don’t have kids or when guys whine about taking care of the kids they didn’t want. Don’t want kids? Get fixed or don’t have sex.

    The dude I replied to understood that and started the process. It’s sexy when guys take control of their fertility like that. More men should be like this guy.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 child)

    You're totally right. I really should, and I will.

    EDIT: I actually started scheduling a vasectomy right now. I had wanted to do one before but things were a little more complicated then and it had slipped my mind in the meantime / did not seem as relevant. Now is a perfect time however.

    Thank you for getting me moving again.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago

    Honestly dude, good for you! And I promise I’m not being facetious here. I’m super happy you got motivated to get a vasectomy. I had my fallopian tubes removed a few years ago and it was a massive weight lifted off my shoulders to know I will never again be pregnant.

    I’m really fucking proud of you for taking that step!

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  • [–] 9 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    I have no idea where you get the idea that having kids is selfish. I spend so much of my time, attention, money and love on them. We share their pain, success and all their ups and downs. My wife gave up her career as an architect to spend more time with them.

    We take care of them now, and they will take care of us later. That’s not selfish, it’s human. And this might be news for you, but this world was always a rough place to be if you’re not born rich.

    And if you’re hinting that your kid's CO2 footprint and consumption potentially contribute to climate change, you’re also forfeiting their chance to contribute to positive changes.

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  • [–] 18 points 2 months ago

    I think it’s more that the act itself, of having the child, is a choice that is made without the consent of the life being brought into the world. Every child is forced into existence through decisions that are not their own.

    Of course, it’s impossible to get consent from the violated party, but it’s still a decision parents take for their own reasons, not the child’s reasons.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago

    The kid didn't need to exist, you made them do so because you wanted something from them for you or those around you, things like love, something to care about, a helping hand etc. That is selfish by definition.

    We take care of them now, and they will take care of us later. That’s not selfish, it’s human.

    That is selfish AND human. Although something being human isn't very relevant, considering things like greed or ill will are also human.

    Wanting future generations to fix climate change is also pretty selfish, so it's a bad example. They're also likely to be powerless just like us.

    Of course, not having kids in order to not make them suffer is also selfish, but It causes the least ammount of pain, well, except for the part where you will have to take care of yourself when older, but thats our problem.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (1 child)

    You're the meme. Did they asked to be there? Yes you're "giving" them a lot of your energy, but they are owed that. That's not generosity, that's responsibility.

    Having kids is inherently selfish. Prove me wrong! Name a single reason to have them that doesn't involve you.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    By that logic taking care of a pet or senile relatives is also selfish. Or working as a missionary, or emergency worker. It boils down to the question if being selfless is in itself a selfish decision.

    Were we just stupid? Naive? Following our biological program? I don’t know. But I know that I love my children above all else and would throw myself under a bus to save them.

    I guess it can be hard to imagine loving someone without expecting anything in return, if you haven’t received that kind of love yourself.

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  • [+] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)
  • [–] 16 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    There are plenty of reasons that aren't selfish. You can do it for humanity, for justice, for style points, for Narnia... If you want to logick those into being selfish, that's your own moral framework talking. Every action is a subjective choice from a subjective perspective in the end, but people can still have non-selfish intentions, however misguided you may judge them.

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  • [–] 10 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    Might not be selfless as such, and I'm not in any position to speak for women in general, but when that biological drive kicks in, it can do so pretty damn hard.

    That's still satisfying your own need, but perhaps more subconsciously so than people having children without thought or care.

    Me and my wife agreed on not having children when we were young, but we've never regretted the son we got after a pretty radical twist in our mid 20's. I could go on, but it's complicated.

    In today's world, if I were young again, I'd never even give it serious thought, though. Different times, although it doesn't feel that long ago.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

    But an overwhelming desire to protect your children from suffering will ultimately just lead to them suffering more.

    Anyway, the word for that feeling you have is "anti-natalism"--that it is unethical to bring children into the world because non-existence is preferable to likely misery.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago

    @NoSpotOfGround yeah simply put youre totally right. Sure, there's good in this world (if youre rich) but lets face it, life is mostly bad and we would all rather be having an eternal slumber instead. We are just here making the most of it because we have to. Say this in public IRL and youll be utterly crucified though. To me its just logic. If you have a kid either by accident or choice, I dont care. But dont make me feel like its required.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    that just sounds like anti-natalism and those people kinda weird me out

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    Having your own kids is literally the most selfish thing you can do. You want to spread your genes.

    Now before you dogpile, understand this doesn't imply its morally wrong, or bad, or anything of they sort. But it is selfish.

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