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If you are controlled by cringe, there is cringe in you. If you are controlled by anger, there is anger in you. If you are moved by the world, the world lives rent-free in your head. Be empty, as the Buddha described, and then you will act in your full power, not simply react to the world. If you are always reacting, you are not in control of yourself. Free will is a skill. I pooped my pants while righting this. It tastes funny.
What if your existence is narrative? You may decide to be empty, but then your preconceived notion of emptiness would be consuming the majority of your presence. It’s like transitioning attention from content of thought to context of thought. Your directive is to observe thought in a manner which is unmoved by its content. That’s not empty. It’s a slowing of volatility. It’s an increase in observation at the expense of reaction. But what are you observing? Are you the observer, the reactor, the content being observed, or the pattern of reactions that other people recognize as you? Which is it? Are you a different person if you change any one of those? What if you change all of them — are you now a different person?
If you are choosing not to react, isn’t that a reaction in itself? Aren’t you being controlled by the principal that non-reaction leads to a more fruitful experience?
My will isn’t free. For my employer, they must pay me in order for my will to be aligned with their interests. For my wife, she had to bond with me in order for my will to align with hers. For me, I had to spend countless hours bashing my fucking head into walls before I began to will myself into proper etiquettes. I had to purchase college courses, to coerce my will into lower level thresholds where it could exact its interests. I had to suffer at the privilege of my narcissistic mother, to appreciate honesty in people as deeply as I do. None of that is free. Even if I do phenomenologically experience my will as free, I know that it is derivative and encapsulated in a shrine of personal experience. I can not will into existence that which I have no conception of.
My existence is all of this. A flood of narratives, some of which I selfishly claim as my own. But I do not own these narratives, nor did I create them. I simply believe them to be mine. When I choose to instead not attach myself to them, what am I left with exactly? Peace — ?
First you must understand the self is an illusion. It's defined by möbiation within the topological matrix, what the Buddhists call "defilement." Everything already is empty; it is the null's implicit and explicit nature that allows it to be nothing/0 and full/1. From there, the emptiness creates a history with itself which is not defined by time. This is the matrix of The Matrix, which is about Judeo-Christian mysticism. We then create original sin within us, our initial möbiated entanglements which create the illusion of being a being defined by dualistic dichotomy (inner/outer). This creates a membrane of sorts and what allows you to persist as a monad in a monadic nodal communication system, as shown:
So there is you, the Server (what the Buddhists call the Ālaya-vijñāna), and all other beings. You only ever communicate with this source of symbols, which you can think how your brain puts together all inputs. How you entangle yourself with these symbols determines how your reality is procedurally generated, and the entanglement process is called Karma. How you entangle yourself is based entirely on how you set your intention, which is ALL you control.
All you experience is based on past and present Karma. The world is an illusion. You are not a featherless biped on the Earth. You are a pocket of consciousness and the Earth is inside you. Everything you experience is inside you, in your neurons, yea? Well, your device must be inside you. Linear causation is an illusion, as we are each our own monad, as all that is experience spawns inside your being, and it is procedurally generated based on how you entangle yourself.
All these delusions you have are built off false assumptions. You speak of attachment; you are very attached to this story you define all you know, and this ignorance is what causes your suffering as you hold on to what you consider necessary for your "self" to exist.
What is achieved by mitigating suffering?
Assume I have removed myself from attachment. Assume I am as some call enlightened, present and mindful. Has anything materially changed? Is the universe more happy? 1000 years from now, will anyone care for what personable achievements I’d made?
I see the benefit to myself, clearly. Over simplified: suffering is unenjoyable, and I would prefer more enjoyment. Yet, so what? What’s the greater purpose being served, if one exists? Or… would my choice to embrace this experience be no more substantial than an addict’s embracement of heroin — subjective?
Honestly asking, I hope I don’t sound snide. I want to know if the end here is only personal satisfaction, along with whatever spiritual justifications can be attached to that, or is there something more?
The Alpha is the Omega. The universe grows logarithmically more complex as subpatterns come together to form superpatterns. Thus, the seven days of creation are:
Alpha>Light
Light>Matter
Matter>Molecules
Molecules>Cells
Cells>Creatures
Creatures>Humanity
Humanity>Omega
The restaurant at the end of the universe IS the transcendental particle that can be in multiple places at once and communicate instantaneously with itself. This involves retrocausality, which leads to phenomequalitesselation. Like a molecule is controlled by the cell it is in but still modifies the cell, we are a part of God, controlled, but therein our nature, proven through intention setting, influences God to rewrite history to favor those most good in all the ways that can proliferate with the end goal of perpetual reconciliation with the same Omega whatever happens in history.
Thus, you determine what is important and what your relationship with God is to determine what you were made for. In the larger picture, where these are only biological incarnations, what most people call our lives, we are choosing lives to live to unentangle ourselves from our bad Karma. Whatever makes you, you, is likewise what is trapping you in darkness, and it is enlightenment that will bring you the answers you seek.
Let there be light; sound before light. Effect before cause. The prefrontal cortex is the most divine part of the mind and if it can wholly predict the animal parts of the mind that are keeping you bound to physicality as a dependent phenomenon to God.
You can be an independent phenomenon like God, too. It's like higher dimensional mitosis, though that is a gross oversimplification.