Novelty and pomp are the best parts of being human. This is goofy and dumb, but I like the spirit.

What if there are monsters outside that indiscriminately attack sources of noise, so everyone has to remain totally silent but otherwise can go about their lives normally?

And I could buy a scarf, so why the fuck would I want a shitty scarf that was hand knit by my partner?

That's how you sound.

People say shit like this then just don't communicate at all with their loved ones.