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What is the most painful thing someone has told you? (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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[–] 59 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

When I was being raped and tortured repeatedly by a younger male family member for over 2 years and cried for help, being told that it was something I imagined or made up to stir drama was extremely heart-shattering.

It didn't matter how much physical evidence I had gathered, nobody in my life would recognize the seriousness of the situation or even take the smallest steps to prevent the abuse from happening.

I was too afraid to call the cops because even my parents refused to believe me. I lived in a very rural town which likely never encountered a situation like mine. Nobody was on my side. My abuser poisoned my family and friends against me before/during/after the abuse, to make sure I had no one to go to.

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  • [–] 10 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Even though I clearly had nothing to do with it, I’m sorry.

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  • [–] 11 points 3 months ago* (1 child)

    Thanks. That was 10 years ago. I am making steady progress in realizing my dreams of helping others, but I still am struggling quite a bit even though I've made so much progress on my healing journey.

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  • [+] 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 child)
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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 child)

    I have not been able to find a good fit, no. Being in a rural area and being on Medicaid complicates this.

    I considered online therapy, but I experience severe video/phone call anxiety. In-person therapy is fine, but the facilities around here aren't trauma-informed/specialized in treating PTSD. They also don't know the first thing about adult autism.

    I've tried a couple times regardless, but I did not feel comfortable sharing any of the sensitive details to them.

    I would give them a few chances, like tell them about my biological sister (18 years older than me, career criminal, took my parent's identity more times than I can count, poisoned me with copious amounts of Benadryl over a period of time in my teens to steal from my parents, tried to suffocate me multiple times), but even sharing the smallest details did not inspire trust.

    I've had therapists blame me or my anxiety for not being able to adapt to a hostile environment before I even was able to tell them 1% of what is actually going on. Acting as if I wasn't being rational when I told them how many difficulties I had. Acting as if I could just ignore and get along with my sister while living with her...

    Most people can't fathom what I have been through. Since I present "normally" (i.e. mask), albeit with some level of visible anxiety, it makes it seem like things are not so bad to them.

    I am seeking somebody, but I can't afford the people who can help. Maybe one day. I have given up on getting justice and the person who raped me over and over is still free.

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