556
Dating has gotten so expensive that nearly half of U.S. singles say it’s no longer worth it, as the average night out approaches $200 (fortune.com)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/aboringdystopia@lemmy.world
325 comments fedilink hide all child comments
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 22 points 4 months ago (15 children)

If someone expects me to pay a massive amount of money on a first date, that woild be a dealbreaker for me. Why should I reinforce any traditional gender roles in a crumbling capitalistic society

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 15 child comments
    •
  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (10 children)

    Different people exist

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 10 child comments
    •
  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I know, but it seems short sighted to me to accept only a single possibility for dating which involves spending a lot of money

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
    •
  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago

    Straight up I went on a drinks to check how we vibe date last week, super simple, 5 beers total, two orders of wings as apps(so 12 wings), $80 before tipping $20. Not to mention the haircut I could’ve put off had I not had a date which was $60, and the gas I used getting there $5. Even if I tipped my personal minimum for a server at 20% that’s over $100. I don’t mind paying for a first date because it’s every woman is potentially putting their life on the line by meeting a man they don’t know alone for however long it lasts, but I used to could plan 2-3 first dates over a week, spend less, and get more food and drink.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago* (5 children)

    doesn't mean they exist in abundance or in your area.

    i'm sure some humble ice cream date lady exists for me, but she probably lives in another state. where I live women think you're a jerk if you want to take them out on a cheap date, and if's not a 'nice' date unless it's $500 or less. and yes, they look at the tab and judge you by how much 'spend' you are putting out.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
    •
  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    I'm gonna say this.. and I'm a married hen, but if that's the mentality of women today, christ, no wonder so many end up desperate cougars.

    You habve no idea the number of women I see in their late 30's still trying to catch a guy.

    Not all, by any means, but a shockingly high enough number that I do notice..

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
    •
  • [–] -2 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    marriage rates are plummeting.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
    •
  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (2 children)

    Which is financial suicide. Those tax breaks for being married really add up and you can save $$ waay faster.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [–] 0 points 4 months ago* (1 child)

    those tax breaks are nothing compared to the financial cost of divorce. 1/2 marriages ends in divorce.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
    •
  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    Uh huh. Within four years, mostly. That is how long the chemical frisson takes to wear off (and coincidentally, how long it is to fully wean a child) and then the hot sex goes and so does the marriage.

    I had SO many girlfriends that I saw go through this EXACT pattern. Here I was the last one married, watching them all get hitched (thinking there was something wrong with me) and then came the kids and then the divorces and then remarried and a few hitting a second divorce. I'm like WTF, I got tight with my best friend first, then we became lovers and finally got hitched 7 years after we met. 35 years later, he is still my best friend first and foremost. He kicks my ass and keeps me on my toes. Drives me up a wall and I love it.

    It's about finding someone you do NOT have to fuck 24/7 that you like so much, that once the sex goes (and it does, if we're being honestly blunt about it) you still are crazy about them, and they are about you.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • [–] -3 points 4 months ago* (3 children)

    because it's do that or date nobody.

    I date. 80% of single women expect traditional gender role dating. the other 20% of women don't date.

    #1 deal breaker women hvae with me is I don't spend enough money on dates to impress them, even when it's $100-300 dinners. They expect $500-1000 dinners, weekend get aways , and international vacations. all as part of the 'dating' process. because that is what social media has told them is what they 'deserve'.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
    •
  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    But are you interested in someone that wants this? Is that someone you want to have as a partner?

    If no, then there is no point in spending so much.

    If yes, there is truly not really another way except spend a bunch.

    Putting so much emphasis on money and wealth is a thing very popular in the manosphere and around social media. It isn't that widespread in reality. It also depends on where you meet people. If you meet them at an expensive hobby meeting like golf or something, it's pretty likely that they want someone who is willing to spend money.

    Do you know women platonically? Maybe ask them what they want on dates(doesn't mean you have to ask them out, just to get a different perspective), see if that matches what you perceive.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [–] 0 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 child)

    No, that's why I'm single. I cannot find a lady who doesn't have these very expensive expectations for dating her. I haven't met anyone like that since 2015, over a decade ago. The world has changed and so have people's expectations.

    in 2015 rent in my city was about 1600 for a one bedroom apartment. Now it's 3200. in 2015 women I met were happy to go get ice cream and you could go out for a beer with them for $10. a dinner date cost maybe $50. nobody i met ten years ago demanded that ou take them on international vacations as part of dating, that was for a long term anniversary or something.. now it's an expectation for 3-4 months of dating.

    it's not 2015 anymore. it's 2026. prices have doubled or tripled for everything since then. people's expectations for life and dating have changed. social media barely existed in 2015, now it's everywhere and inescapable.

    It is widespread in reality. I'm meeting these women in the real world and this is what they demand of me. It's what women I meet, even friends of friends, demand of men. and they all complain we are broke losers, because we can't meet their expectations.

    The women I meet who don't demand this from men are already married, and their husbands are paying most of the bills...

    also my 17 year old newphew, has the same issues. his girlfriends who are his own age, dump him for not taking them out to expensive dates and dinners, w/ his 15/hr part time job... he had two girlfriends and both of them demanded expensive dinner dates, and he said 'i can't afford that' and now he has decided to give up on dating entirely because he doesn't see the point in wasting his money on it and he knows he can't date without spending lots of money he doesn't have.

    when I was his age I was taking my gfs out to movies and chili's for $10-15. I used to take my girlfriends to a 'fancy' dinner and it was like $30-40. now teenage girls demand think they deserve $200-500 dates. he was talking them on 50-100 dollar dates and they thought he was cheap and 'low effort' I was making 10 bucks an hour, he is making 15... for me two hours of work paid for a date, for him it would be 20 hours.

    the issue is the math more than anything else. in the 2000s life was cheap and dating was easy. now life is expensive and dating is super hard

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
    •
  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Interesting, maybe it's also a country difference. In germany the reality is very different. Most people I know don't spend that much money and it's a common thing to split the bill on the first date, so I assumed it wouldn't be extremely different. Maybe the people in your area just have weird expectations idk.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent