There must be some sort of way to do it.
Lemmy doesn't handle this nicely either, though I still use this extension last updated 3 years ago: https://github.com/cynber/lemmy-instance-assistant
If you're the one posting a link, you can use a service like https://lemmyverse.link/ which will redirect a user to the same items on their own instance (after they set their instance the first time), though that site is run by the guy behind lemmings.world that's shutting down in a couple of months, so it's future may be a little uncertain. I've also seen https://threadiverse.link/ but I don't know who run it.