58
We might have bred dogs to just be constantly itchy, and their "love" is just them wanting some temporary relief from the unendurable hell of existence. (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by to c/showerthoughts@lemmy.world
12 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

If they pretend to be happy to see us, we'll scratch behind their ears and let them forget about the nightmare they live at all times, and secretly they hunger for our blood. But if they slake their thirst and eat our livers, there will be no one to give them scritches.

So they play along despite their ancient hatred and maybe, just maybe, we'll give them that hard rub on the spot just above the tail. Yah, that one. Oh, god, keep doing that. Yah, do it, you sonofabitch, or I'll rip your throat out in your sleep tonight because you're no use to me anymore.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[+] [S] -13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Then you really go to town behind their ears and the sounds they make as they lean into make you understand that no amount of self-manipulation equals the real thing.

If you were given a choice between jerking yourself off and getting a no-strings-attached blowie, what would you choose?

Edit: I'm fascinated at the amount of downvotes this comment is gathering, especially in a fluff comm like this. Anyone want to tell me why they're downvoting? Because sex bad?

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
    •
  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Meh, I can't even scratch my own ears right, that's why I use cotton swabs every few days or so. Our dog Brownie lets me clean his ears out every few months or so too, and he loves it!

    Yeah yeah, I know, you're not supposed to put cotton swabs in your ears. That's just the companies covering their own asses against potential ruptured eardrums, but I'm pretty sure most everyone does it anyways, just gotta be careful, obviously.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent