"Hey, man, we told the kid not to be born, that we couldn't afford it, but he wouldn't listen, and went and borned hisself anyhow, without any permission. So that's on him. You have to sue him.

But you can't, because he's a BABY! And you can't sue a baby! BOOM! CHECKMATE, BITCH!"

That'll work in any court in the nation. Don't even need a lawyer, save your money.