Hey now the crucifix is a plenty civilized torture device. Unlike the savages who just killed you before desecrating your corpse the Romans lashed you to a cross and displayed your still living body then they'd take your corpse down eventually. Do you not see the fruits of civilization when compared to the savagery of the barbarian, especially since you may get running water and lead poisoning in return.

You know I was initially making what amounted to pro-Roman shitpost but uhhhh it kinda turned into a weird commentary on the United States midway through.