Yes. I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until I was in my 30s. By then I had already spent my entire life hating myself for being an utter failure because I couldn't figure out why just having a simple existence felt like trying to climb Mount fucking Everest every goddamn day and why my brain always feels like scrambled eggs. I've been passively suicidal most of my life because even as a kid the adults in my life openly compared me to my peers and found me sorely lacking, and as an adult I mourn the life I want and can't seem to achieve. I feel like my entire existence has been me throwing myself at the bars of a giant cage labelled ADHD and I can't get myself out or find the key and people come stand outside the door and watch me and say things like "everyone has focus issues" and "you just need to try harder" and my personal fucking favorite "nothing in your brain is impossible to fix if you're willing to put in the effort, you just are unwilling to change".

My ADHD has taken everything from me. I have no friends, not even online, I've dropped out of school multiple times, I struggle at work, I struggle to emotionally regulate, I've only ever had two relationships and I was dumped by text from the person I was married to and ghosted from the other.

I actually have an okay paying job now, but I fully expect I will die alone and broke because the chances of me ever being able to keep a career that pays well enough to stay ahead in this economy are slim to none. I have no idea how to make or keep friends, and I can't bear the thought of getting attached to someone else only to get ghosted again.

I'd do anything to not have ADHD. Sure I'll laugh and make ADHD jokes with everyone else, but my life would be so different if my brain would fucking work (or if I would have been diagnosed sooner and learned coping mechanisms and self love sooner).