Trying to get myself out of the funk I've been on for the past month-month and a half. Nothing feels quite right. And even with one of the biggest things to go my way (had a really good chance to move out on my own), I ended up just kind of selfsabotoging and letting the opportunity pass by.

Maybe saying selfsabotaging is a bit strong because there are factors that are keeping me with my family, mainly just not wanting to leave and let my mom and brother shoulder all of my dad's care. And by extension leaving my mom with just by brother at home since he tends to stress way too much about our dad's health and then shuts out people for extended periods of time, which is part of the reason I went so hard trying to find my own place. My mom recently told me "you're my only friend in the house" after going through a rough day with my brother and I... just damn. We all love each other, but its just tough sharing a limited space.

Work's also been rough. I had fallen behind on a lot of stuff and I'm sure its going to bite me bad over the next couple of days. But I had started catching up on a few things and then someone on my crew decided to quit. And even with all the attempts on my part to make things work out for them they decided to just skip out with no time to give us a chance to hire a new person. Just burning all the bridges.