The writers of "The Ethical Slut" advocate for a very broad definition of having sex. They even have a (tongue-in-cheek) bit where they say that by reading the book, you and the authors are engaging in a form of having sex.

I'm not sure I totally agree with going that far, but I do think a broad definition is better.

Nah any sex is losing your virginity

I'll take it in another direction from the other responses and just say: people give too much of a fuck about this idea of virginity.

I'd say 'no', if you think it's fine to call it 'fucking', you're definitely not a virgin anymore. It's always subjective, though, some people think it's only 'sex' if it's p and v with at least one orgasm. Feels fucked up to validate the kinds of people who think 'soaking' makes sense in any way, but when you start considering lesbians, the subjectiveness becomes quite apparent.

I'd say as long as it involves another person it counts.