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this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2025
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Microblog Memes
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Guacamole.
Avocado, a metric fuckton of cilantro, diced roma tomato, diced white onion, a modest amount of minced tomatillo ("secret ingredient" #1), a lot of lime juice, a hefty amount of garlic run through a microplane, salt and a pinch of cumin ("secret ingredient" #2).
Not kidding on the metric fuckton part, this almost (but not quite, I am exaggerating) comes together less like a traditional guac and more like a cilantro salad dressed in mashed avocado. It slays though, I make huge batches and seldom see it unfinished.
Actual ratio by mass of the finished product ... it's maybe 60% avocado? With the rest being all the other ingredients put together.
I do similar, but not so heavy on the cilantro. Yellow onions are fine, too, but not Vidalia. I don't use tomatillo. I mince my garlic. I only use fresh limes. The avocado to lime and garlic ratio is really important. If you get that how you like it, everything else is a snap. I hand mix mine so that it's more chunky and less homogeneous. It's the hit of every party. My problem is finding enough ripe avocados to make a quantity that feeds everyone.
It kills me that my wife hates cilantro
This is the way to do it. And it rocks on a BLT too btw