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hairy situation with dating (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago by to c/autism@lemmy.world
19 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

context: i met this girl on tinder who's is on the spectrum, we talked for a bit and then exchanged our ig accounts, but she hasnt replied since. I dont understand what happened, if shes just busy, needs time or lost interest. I have no way to tell and im too scared to ask. What should I do?

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[–] 20 points 1 year ago (1 child)

well, i'd suggest you keep waiting for her to message you first, so long as you're okay with never talking to her again. alternatively, you could just message her, not even to ask why the long silence, but just to strike up a new conversation. share a fun fact or something, idk.

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  • [–] [S] 8 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    but then im afraid of coming off as annoying or even creepy. I dont want to break her barriers just bc i want to talk to her, maybe she needs some time. I wrote her and she didnt even respond

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Y'all matched on tinder and traded igs, it isn't creepy for you to message her - that's the whole point!

    Wanna know the secret to talking to girls? The secret is that women are very forgiving. They'll forgive you for being annoying, or dumb, or awkward, or creepy, or a jerk. But the one thing they'll never forgive you for is being boring. Hence, the winning strategy with women is to always swing for the fences. Make a dirty joke, or tease her mercilessly, or just fucking ask her on a date! Anything is better than ho-hum fact-sharing conversation!

    Here's the thing - right now you're all torn up over whether or not she likes you. Whether or not she is flaking on you. So what do you really want? You want to know. So send her a message where you are completely, unambiguously broadcasting your interest in going on a date with her. Then, forget about her. Send that message, just assume that she is now a dead lead, and move on with your life. And maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    i followed ypur advice, now ill see

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    Good, but

    now ill see

    This is the wrong perspective. What you did was make your intentions clear and unambiguous and put the ball in her court. At this point, you should simply assume she has rejected you and you will never hear from her again. Thank God - now you have removed that uncertainty from your life! You no longer need to check your phone every 30 seconds to see if you've gotten a message.

    So now that your mind is free, and your conscience is clear, and you know you did everything you could in this situation, you can focus on something else. Something like making yourself more appealing to more women, and then asking those women out on dates.

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