The EU has said it’s never going to happen either.

When? I keep hearing this but I'm pretty sure no such statement has been made.

A country in North America joining another continent?? Is silly.

A little, yes.

Having randos in Brussels make decisions for Canada?? No thank you.

So, any level of integration is going to involve that. IIRC Even now we have to respect EU heritage foods designations as part of CETA.