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[–] 3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

My X-men style superpower is that under moments of extreme stress I become the most efficient man in the world.

When I'm not stressed, I'm a lazy asshole, lazier and more asshole than your typical lazy asshole.

When I am stressed, I channel the avatar of The Flash for up to six minutes at a time, then afterwards, I forget everything I've ever remembered except for guilt that I don't operate like that all the time.

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