When the iron is hot, the blacksmith is swinging. The water and peeing thing is probably something I would work on.

Have you tried bribing yourself with Kool aid or tea or something that will get you to drink water? Maybe a mini fridge next to the desk so you don't have to leave the desk?

Hard pass on the piss jug idea. You can make it to the bathroom, I believe in you. Terrible habit. I've known some who travel that dark path. That's why I live alone now.