Stop deflecting and learn to focus on intent.

I'm also in favor of the viewpoint that the "First Lady Trump" joke was fine. Just felt the need to comment on the last point; I've had that sentiment before too, but I've also seen danger in the idea that "Because my intentions were positive, I shouldn't be criticized." That's been a defense used by bigots, too. eg, Trump throwing paper towels to disaster victims (even though he certainly didn't have to take time out of his day to throw paper towels, gee, how nice he is!)

I'd like to hope that in the past 30 days I've never said anything racist/bigoted - but I'd also acknowledge the possibility that despite my positive intentions, I may have. It's only important because these days very few people think themselves to be bigots. Think about the type of person most likely to say things like "I'm not racist!"

I’m telling you that your concern trolling is alienating allies.

And they are telling you that your lack of empathy is alienating a different set of allies. Those who you seem to claim to be allied with.

Stop deflecting and learn to focus on intent.

I mean, this is 101 stuff.

https://www.healthline.com/health/intent-vs-impact

If your impact doesn’t match your intent

Ever found yourself saying, “But that’s not what I meant”?

You aren’t alone. Everyone tends to measure their responses based on their own interpretation of a situation, meaning that unintentional harm is bound to happen — none of us are above an accidental “ouch.”

If someone discloses that you hurt or offended them, the remainder of your relationship, whether it’s professional, romantic, or platonic, can depend on how you handle the situation.

Here’s how to get things back on track:

• Listen with the goal of understanding where they’re coming from, not with the goal of defending yourself. It can help to use the active listening technique of repeating back exactly what you hear.

• Center their feelings, not yours. It’s normal to feel a little prickly when someone tells you that you did something wrong, and you disagree. But take a beat and a deep breath, and know that you can talk about your feelings later.

• Genuinely apologize or acknowledge the impact that your actions had on them. Steer clear of “I’m sorry if,” “I’m sorry you,” or “I’m sorry but,” as these all lack accountability and put the blame on the one who was hurt. A simple “I’m sorry for doing that, and I’ll do better next time” can go a long way.

I don't put much stock in post votes, but I don't think a majority popular comment that the person I was replying to already agreed with is, uh, getting blowback. Honestly you seem to be the most hostile one here. If you'd read any of the lovely conversations I've already had with folks here, you'd understand that I haven't blamed anyone for this joke, I am simply communicating what I have heard in the community, and I don't have any expectations of changes in behavior as a result of this.

It's not bigotry to call out jokes on the internet, btw. For someone fighting a war on behalf of us all I'd figure this would be lower priority!

I'm going to stop responding to you since you don't seem to be engaging with the intention to actually listen to minorities, ciao!